Life Lessons From River Aria

It’s not easy to live an incredible, fulfilling life. I’d say it’s downright hard. Especially when you’re young, there are so many life-altering decisions to make–who to marry, what career to invest in, whether or not to have kids–that making any choice at all can seem completely overwhelming.

If there’s one thing that can help, it’s the wisdom of people who have come before you. And once you start looking for it, you find that life advice is everywhere. It’s not always serious, as in the sign above from the Guinness Factory in Dublin (which is featured in one of the most famous Guinness commercials of all time). And it’s not always good. But if you keep an open ear (and an open mind), you may just find something that makes your own life and choices a little easier.

When Mac and I were on the River Aria in July, we sat down with the older people on our boat to hear their life advice–and what they wish someone had told them when they were young. We thought we’d pass on the wisdom. Whatever your age, we hope it gives you food for thought and makes your own life a little more incredible and fulfilling.

General:

• Make every day a happy day.
• Don’t care so much about what other people think. You’re not responsible for making other people happy.
• Question everything. Even with things you were taught as a child, ask yourself: Do I believe this? Do I really think this?
• Follow your heart, whatever you do. Even if there are complications with what you want to do, still go ahead with it.
• Memories are the one thing that people can’t take away from you.
• Don’t be too dependent on others to survive, whether it be for a job, money, etc.
• You’re responsible for your own happiness.
• Tia, tinka, tolla: Listen, think and then talk.
• Each day is a gift. Not a given, not a right. Tackle each new day with excitement.
• When your life passes in front of you, make sure it’s a good one.
• Smile at a stranger every day–it’ll make both of you feel better.
• Whatever stage of life you’re in, enjoy it.
• Be yourself.

Love:

• Pick your fights. Because you can’t win all the fights. Pick the ones that mean the most to you.
• Never go to bed angry. If you do, emotions will just intensify by morning. The next fight you’re in, you’ll be right back to the old fight.
• Marriage is not 50/50. It’s 80/20. Both of you won’t give evenly every time. And you’ll usually feel like you’re the one giving 80%.
• Get out of your marriage if it’s not the right one for you. Don’t waste time when you know it isn’t right. Just move on.
• You can’t always think of marriage. You’re not a failure if you’re not married. It’s okay not to get married.
• Travel the world before you get married.
• Before you get married, really ask yourself: Do I want to have children with this person? Do I want this person to be the mother/father of my children? Think long and hard, because if you do have children together, you will always be connected.
• Do things separately from your partner so you’re not always joined at the hip. It brings more enrichment to your relationship.
• Be the best friend you can be, the best companion.

Family:

• At the end of the day, it’s all about family. Strengthen your family ties.
• Listen to everything your mother says.
• You’re lucky if you have good parents. Appreciate them.
• You may have conflict with a sibling, but at the end of the day they’re still your brother or sister. Protect that relationship.
• Don’t let your kids develop conflict between themselves. Encourage that relationship.
• Family comes before your job. Family comes before everything.
• As a parent, don’t be your kids’ friend. You can be a parent and a friend at the same time after a certain point. But when they’re growing up, kids need discipline from a parent.
• It’s okay not to have kids.

Health:

• Health is really important. Take care of yourself, your attitude, body, mind. Bad health will either shorten your life or make you wish it were shorter.

Challenges:

• Always remember, tomorrow might just be better.
• Life will throw you curves. It throws everyone curves–some more than others.
• Have hope. You may think this is how things will always be, but it’s not true. Things can always get better.
• In spite of your problems, always keep going.
• Negativity breeds negativity.
• If you get turned around, you’re not lost. It’s just a new experience.

Learning:

• Learn something new every day.
• Read the newspaper–a good one–every day. Don’t watch tv–these days it’s always one-sided.
• Life is about new experiences. And you have the most opportunities for new experiences when you’re young.
• You can’t just take one class and expect to be cultured. You can’t get it all in one shot; you accumulate culture over a lifetime.
• College is all about the friends and connections you make. It’s not as much about book learning.
• Don’t be too shy to ask good questions.
• Ignore your comfort zone. You’re going to learn so much more by doing that.
• Always ask yourself: What’s the worst thing that could happen? Chances are, it won’t be that bad.

Religion:

• Respect dogma but question it when it makes sense.
• The best religion is to be tolerant of everyone, respectful of everyone.

Jobs:

• Don’t be complacent. If it’s not for you, switch.
• Even in a corporate environment, strive to have a positive attitude all the time. Instead of being cynical about bosses, budgets, etc., look on the bright side of everything. And try to be flexible, even when things don’t go your way.
• Even if you get laid off or fired, don’t burn your bridges. You never know when you’ll run into your old colleagues again–and you might need their help.
• Work on liking your coworkers. Create an environment where everyone cares about each other.
• Find something you like, find someone to pay you to do it–and you’ll never work a day in your life.
• Retire to something rather than from something.