The Life Advice Blog Project

What has been your greatest life lesson?

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I’ve been fascinated by this question for ages. But it wasn’t until 2012, when I was reading Karl Pillemer’s new book, “30 Lessons for Living,” that I really thought about making my exploration of the question one of my writing projects. As I read Pillemer’s book I was touched by his quest to share the best life advice of the elderly. It inspired me, but soon my inspiration morphed into a deeper realization. It’s not just the elderly who have something amazing to offer the world in terms of wisdom and advice. Everyone, regardless of age, has learned something profound that has made a big difference in their life and can help other people. Everyone has a story.

Just like that, the Life Advice Blog Project was born. Conceptualizing it was the easy part. Then came the hard part. During the first six months of this year, five days a week, I interviewed a different person for their greatest life lesson. The grand total was 129 (including my own profile and life lesson). Some of the people I interviewed were folks I already knew and had been fascinated with for some time. Others were completely random. Others yet came to me on referral from people who had already been interviewed. They all had the option of using their real name or a pseudonym. Their true identities weren’t as important as their response to the question, “What has been your greatest life lesson?”

During the Life Advice Blog Project I shared five profiles a week through social media, my web site, and my email list. If you missed out on seeing them, or if you would like to re-read some of my personal favorites, browse below. Although I’ve included only a handful of the profiles collected during my project, don’t despair. I’m currently putting together a book proposal and getting ready to pitch the Life Advice Blog Project to publishers across the United States. Once I find the right one, you’ll be able to order your own copy of the entire collection of life advice. If you’d like to be notified when the book comes out, send me an email and I’ll be sure to add you to my growing list. It’s time for the Life Advice Blog Project to go into the big, wide world and make a difference.

My Greatest Life Lesson:

The Life Advice Blog Project is quite simply one of the best things I have done with my life. Ever. If you’ve had the privilege of using your time and talent for something you feel called to do, you know what I’m talking about. For several years, I knew my calling was to talk to people, learn their stories, and share them with the world. But knowing and doing are two different things. It took my commitment to the Life Advice Blog Project to make my calling come alive. It was when my calling was ignited that I learned my greatest life lesson, which comes in three parts.

One: In order to be fully fulfilled in life, you need to live your calling.

It took embarking on the Life Advice Blog Project for me to learn that there is a gaping hole in my life that can only be filled by living my calling. And I’m convinced I’m not the only one with a giant hole. I believe you have it, too, and that unless you live your calling, you’ll always feel like something is missing. I sure did. If you’ve never lived your calling, you have a lot to look forward to. Let me give you a preview.

Living your calling is a lot like being in love. Except, instead of being in love with another person, you’re in love with your purpose and life itself. There were moments during my project when I didn’t think life could get any better, when I felt amazingly complete. Intellectually, I knew that the world still had problems. Even my own life had problems. But during those moments when I was experiencing the spiritual high of living my calling, none of those problems mattered. I had the confidence that no matter what, my life was worth something because I was doing the very thing that I was created to do.

When you’re living your calling, those moments of bliss happen a lot. It doesn’t take any huge accomplishments to get them. At least, it didn’t for me. I got them every time someone sent me an email saying they were changed by something I’d written, or when I would genuinely connect with the people I was interviewing. I got them when my words came out the way I wanted them to, and every time I stopped to contemplate how honored I was to be trusted with a glimpse of a soul here and a portion of a life story there. For goodness sakes, I even got them when I talked about my project to strangers or finished writing for the day. If you want bliss, don’t go shopping or drink too much. Just live your calling.

Two: Living your calling is rarely easy.

Now that I have sold you on living your calling, I need to tell you that there is one big, unfortunate thing that goes along with it. Doing what you’re passionate about may be incredibly fulfilling and it may make you as high as a kite, but it is rarely easy. I think there is such a misconception that when you find what you’re meant to do, you stop being challenged and things automatically go well for you. Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but in my own experience, that isn’t true. At all.

There were many moments during my project when things were difficult. There were times when I didn’t want to contact another person for their story because I was overwhelmed or just plain tired. There were mornings when I didn’t want to get up and write. And that was even before I got writer’s block. Yep, for some reason, about a quarter of the way into my project, I came down with a pretty serious case of what is really a writer’s worst nightmare. Up until that point, I had written my profiles simply by sitting down at the computer and letting the words wash over me. I didn’t even use an outline. Once I got broadsided by my creative impasse, though, I would sit down to write, stare at the computer screen, and freeze. I felt amazingly overwhelmed by making sense of people’s life stories and trying to convey their greatest life lessons in a page or less. Sometimes the task seemed too daunting. Other times, I was terrified that any writing I did would be crap. That was a big deal, because sucking at your life’s calling is about the scariest thing you can imagine. If you suck at that, what hope do you have for anything else in life?

Even though things were difficult, I learned work-arounds that made them easier. For some reason, writing my outlines and first-drafts on post-it notes cured my writer’s block. And when I was afraid that my writing would suck, I mentally rehearsed my personal motto: “This is my damn blog. I can write whatever the hell I want.” It was such a rebellious thought, but it freed me to do the writing that only I could do. I knew that at the end of the day, all I could do was my best.

No matter the challenge, when you finally find something you’re meant to do, you keep working at it. You do whatever is necessary, because, finally, the work is worth it. The pay-off is there. You’re in love and that keeps you working even harder.

Three: No one can stop you from pursuing what you’re passionate about.

There is no one stopping you from jumping on this amazing journey of unbelievable highs and lows. If there’s anything I learned during my project, it’s that you’re the only person who can choose to live your calling, and you’re also the only person who can choose to not live your calling. It’s not up to the world. It’s up to you. You don’t need to wait until you get paid for doing what you love. You don’t need the world’s acceptance that what you are passionate about is worthy. You don’t need a book advance, a radically different life, a different spouse, or a different job. I love people’s stories, so I went out and collected them. If your dream is to write a book, start your own blog project, go out and interview people about something you’re passionate about, and pitch your project to anyone who will listen. The joy is not in being successful or wanted by the world, although that feels good. The joy is in doing what you love to do. It’s not about making money. Honestly, I would have paid for the honor of doing the Life Advice Blog Project. That’s how much I loved it.

I hope you gained some wisdom from my project and learned a life lesson like I did. My wish for you is that there were things that stuck out in your mind, that changed how you viewed life and improved your experience with the world around you. I hope you learned to give strangers the benefit of the doubt (the lesson I heard most often), that you decided to weave some silence and even forgiveness into your life, and that you gained the courage to be more uniquely you. I know I did.

All of the lessons from the Life Advice Blog Project are important in their own way. But if I could choose only one thing for you to take away from my project, it would be a better appreciation for doing what you were created to do. For me, it’s writing stories. For you, it could be helping disabled people or taking beautiful photos that capture the world around you. Whatever it is, do the thing you were created to do. The world needs whatever you’re in love with.

Darlene Bock Oct 2, 2013
Day 38: When Darlene Bock, 52, was in elementary school, she came home crying nearly every day after school.  The kids said…

Bill Kenower Oct 2, 2013
Day 75: Bill Kenower, 47, knows a lot about stories. He’s the Editor-in-Chief of Author Magazine, hosts a weekly radio show by…

Kevin O’Brien Oct 2, 2013
Day 54: Last week I finally had the opportunity to sit down and speak with New York Times Bestselling Author Kevin O’Brien. I had been…

Marissa Boone* Oct 2, 2013
Day 126: If learning your greatest life lesson the hard way were a contest, Marissa Boone*, 23, would have everyone beat. It’s not something…

Malloree Nilson Oct 2, 2013
Day 107: “School was my misery growing up,” Malloree Nilson, 24, said. “I had trouble paying attention. My mind would go totally blank on tests. I had…

Carol Veach Oct 2, 2013
Day 19: There are some people in my life that I could listen to all day long. They’re just wise. My mom, Carol Veach, 53, is that way. I don’t say…

Darlene Bock

Posted by on Oct 2, 2013 in Editorials & Profiles, Profiles | 0 comments

Day 38: When Darlene Bock, 52, was in elementary school, she came home crying nearly every day after school. The kids said she was too tall, too skinny, and too ugly. It was, to say the least, incredibly hurtful. And it impacted her confidence, until she learned something that her own mom had learned many years before. “You don’t let people tell you who you are,” Darlene said. “YOU tell you who you are.” Darlene’s mom had gone through a lot of the same challenges in life that Darlene was facing, and then some. Her mom was legally blind, very...

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Bill Kenower

Posted by on Oct 2, 2013 in Editorials & Profiles, Profiles | 0 comments

Day 75: Bill Kenower, 47, knows a lot about stories. He’s the Editor-in-Chief of Author Magazine, hosts a weekly radio show by authors for authors, and recently finished writing his memoir, “No One is Broken.” Bill knows first-hand how to craft a good story, but for many years he did just the opposite. It impacted his whole life, and according to him, you may be falling into the same trap. Although Bill is a full-time writer now, things weren’t always this way. For more than 20 years he worked as a waiter while writing and acting on the side....

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Kevin O’Brien

Posted by on Oct 2, 2013 in Editorials & Profiles, Profiles | 0 comments

Day 54: Last week I finally had the opportunity to sit down and speak with New York Times Bestselling Author Kevin O’Brien. I had been looking forward to our meeting immensely. It wasn’t just the fact that he was a famous author that had my curiosity piqued; he came with his own reputation. Several people in the writing community had sung his praises to me, and I had to see what all of the excitement was about. As soon as Kevin joined me at the cafe table, steaming cup of coffee in hand, I felt like I had known him for years. It was the way...

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Marissa Boone*

Posted by on Oct 2, 2013 in Editorials & Profiles, Profiles | 0 comments

Day 126: If learning your greatest life lesson the hard way were a contest, Marissa Boone*, 23, would have everyone beat. It’s not something that she’s proud of. It’s not even something she tells most people. “I grew up in a really ugly situation,” Marissa said. “And through that, I learned to not follow the Pied Piper, but rather to be independent. My childhood was very different from what a lot of people experience. I don’t tell a lot of people about it, because they either say, ‘What the hell?’ or they don’t believe me.” Marissa’s...

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Malloree Nilson

Posted by on Oct 2, 2013 in Editorials & Profiles, Profiles | 0 comments

Day 107: “School was my misery growing up,” Malloree Nilson, 24, said. “I had trouble paying attention. My mind would go totally blank on tests. I had a lot of anxiety during exams because I saw other people finishing a lot earlier than me. In school, it’s uncool to be the last kid to finish because then you’re just the stupid kid. All of this started when I was really young, too. I was in tutoring as early as 1st grade because I was slow. It was embarrassing. All I wanted was to be the best student and the teacher’s pet. I was trying my...

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Carol Veach

Posted by on Oct 2, 2013 in Editorials & Profiles, Profiles | 0 comments

Day 19: There are some people in my life that I could listen to all day long. They’re just wise. My mom, Carol Veach, 53, is that way. I don’t say that just because she is my mom, either. I say it because it’s the truth. So I was honored when she agreed to sit down with me and share one of her greatest life lessons. Interestingly enough, my sister and I had something to do with it. “People need to be more gentle with themselves,” she said. “Sometimes it’s easier to forgive others for their imperfections than ourselves. This has not come...

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Cassandra Overby

Posted by on Aug 28, 2013 in Profiles | 1 comment

To My Readers and the Fans of the Life Advice Blog Project: Last November I made an audacious promise to myself, a promise to spend six months interviewing 128 everyday people for their greatest life lessons. I remember myself pre-blog, certain that six months would fly by (I actually considered doing my project for a whole year), convinced that the writing would roll off my pen (it didn’t), and confident that it would be easy to find a different person to interview five days a week (it wasn’t). When I made the promise to myself to see this...

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